sometimes i wonder about where i'm going in life.
if im making the right decisons...wondering if i overlooked something vitally important.
sometimes i depress myself because i think so much, and worry about everything.
i know i shouldn't. and i know that when i do i only stress myself out more than i already am..i just cant help myself.
when i think about myself, i realize that maybe my mom was right after all; i do like doing shit the hard way.
it doesnt seem real for me if its made easy.
it feels like a dream, and dreams are easily stolen and crushed.
sometimes i look back on all that has happened in my life and on all the things i have done, and while it doesnt make me happy, i know that i wouldnt change anything.
i know that if i were to change something, i wouldnt be who i am today. and though im not happy with the person i am, i am satisfied with the knowledge i have gained.
sometimes when you learn certain things, it makes you hard. it leaves you distant and unfeeling...i dont want to be this person but i see that i am, in a way i think i hate myself for it.
when i look back, i see that what brought me here was just a long series of bad decisions, and i think that now, i am finally starting to make good ones.
in contrast, i have found someone who accepts all this. who accepts the person i am now, and asks nothing from me. i have found a friend whom i thought was joking, but has shown me repeatedly that he is not.
and to him i want to thank.
thank you for being there when i needed you.
thank you for being so very patient and understanding, it means the world.
thank you for your trust.
thank you for encouraging and believing in me.
thank you, for making me believe...